What’s the best way to help people you are coaching make progress and overcome their “I can’t’s?”
Nurture them!
Often people think that coaching is about challenging people and pushing them out of their comfort zone! And part of coaching certainly is (in lean, we believe in Respect for People…that each person can do more than they ever thought they can do…and be more than they ever thought they could be!) But pushing someone out of their comfort zone means that they are going to experience some amount of fear!
And when people are in fear, they will respond in one of three ways:
Fight
Flight, or
Freeze
So, if the person you are helping learn argues with you, or protests about what you are taking them to try (Fight), starts canceling meetings or misses coaching (Flight) or keeps delaying trying out something (Freeze), recognize that what they need is more nurturing from you!
It’s perfectly fine to stand right beside someone giving them encouragement as they try something new! It’s fine to “hold someone’s hand” as they learn! Even if the person has a fancy job title or many degrees! Because before the person is anything else, they are a human beings!
And what human beings need most to learn is kindness and a nurturing coach to lend them courage when they are challenged to step out their comfort zone!
I’ve used, and taught, this “Challenge and Nurture” approach as my standard in KRC for years with great success! If you'd like to learn more, as a learner or a coach, please reach out!
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