Like many people (women especially), as a child, I was often told by my parents that I was "selfish" when I didn't conform to the ways they wanted me to think, speak and act. As an adult, I've come to understand that in order to help others and contribute what only you can contribute to the world, you need to "SELF-ISH"!
How often have you wanted to do something and when you've told others, they've shook their head reproachfully and responded disdainfully, "That is so selfish. And it will take time away from taking care of (insert children, aging parents, spouse, partner... here.) How can you be so selfish?" Or maybe it's not what you want to do, but the way that you want to do it that doesn't conform with the way they think you should act or how you should do something...
When I was growing up, my parents often told me that I was selfish if I didn't want to do what they wanted me to do...and in the way they wanted me to do it. For instance, I didn't become a doctor or lawyer, which would have fulfilled their dreams, but became, instead, an artist! "You're just so selfish...and always want to do what you want to do and do things your way!" was a constant refrain I heard for years.
If you are a like me, and those words were part of your upbringing, they may have become what I call "the voice in your head"...the little voice that whispers, whenever you want to do something that will fulfill your purpose, in your own way, and makes you feel guilty enough to not do the thing. Whether it's starting your own business or dog rescue, bringing food to the unhoused, or just spending the day drawing and painting in nature.
That insidious "voice in your head", may stop you from learning the things you need to learn and doing the things that only you can do...and that will help you help other people...because only you are you!
Instead of thinking that you are being selfish, please be, instead, what I call "SELF-ISH"! Be true to yourself. Follow your dreams and interests and do things in your own way. Hear and listen to the "voice of your heart". The voice that is deep within guiding you to become who you are supposed to be. Because each person, including you, is unique, and has something special to offer, that no one else can.
And if you don't hear and listen to that "voice of your heart" and be "SELF-ISH", others, who need the help that only you can give, because there is only one you on this earth, won't receive it!
So today, when you hear that "voice in your head" whispering - or shouting - "You're too selfish!" please remember, that voice comes from others who want what is best for them. Not necessarily what is best for you!
Then pay attention to the "voice of your heart", and do your best to be yourself! To be SELF-ISH so that you can become the best that YOU can be, and contribute to the world what only you can.
That way you will help others and fulfill your unique purpose.
There is only one you in this world...and the world needs that you. So please, be SELF-ISH!
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