One of the most important things that coaches do is what I call ‘lend courage’ to the people they are coaching. Because, as human beings, we only gain confidence from doing – we don’t actually ‘know’ something until we’ve put it into practice! – the people we are coaching usually don’t have confidence because they don’t have experience. One of the ways we can ‘see’ this is by ‘listening’ carefully to the questions they are asking. Often, after telling me a great idea that they have for an improvement, the person I’m coaching will then ask me if it’s okay if they give it a try! When I hear that, I can ‘see’ that the person isn’t confident in their ideas and abilities yet, and needs to ‘borrow courage’ from me. When that happens, I always answer, “Great. Make a hypothesis and give it a try.” So, if someone you are coaching asks for your permission to try something out, realize that they are asking to ‘borrow your courage’ and lend it to them! That’s the best way to help them develop confidence by doing!

Comments (2)

  1. Karyn thanks for giving me courage and coaching on how to be a better coach! I completely agree with you and as a result we’ve changed the way we deliver our training to make it more coaching and doing instead. I sincerely appreciate you and I’m very lucky to be working with you!

    • karynross


      It is my pleasure! I’m just as lucky to be working with you!


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