One of my students recently asked me, “How can I know what someone is thinking? Their thoughts are invisible and inside their heads.” When someone asks me this question, I ask them how much talking versus listening they do when they are coaching. Usually the answer is, “I do most of the talking.” “Aha,” I say, “That’s the problem.” The way to ‘see’ what someone else is thinking is by asking them a question and then listening – really listening – with open ears, an open heart and an open mind – to their answer. When someone speaks, they are making their thought processes and mindsets visible. So, if you want to ‘see’ what someone is thinking, talk less and listen more.
