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Welcome to The Kind Leader Newsletter #4!

Tip #4: Let others go first. 

As a team member, have you ever been excited to go to your one-on-one meeting with your manager, only to find that fifty-five out of the sixty minutes are taken up by them telling you all about their work instead of listening to you? Even when the stated purpose of the meeting is to hear how you are doing and what YOU want to talk about? As a team member, you probably felt disappointed and that you weren’t treated kindly. Plus, your questions and concerns may not have been addressed.

Those in leadership roles often develop the habit of speaking first. However, letting others speak first gives leaders both the opportunity to hear what people have to say, and also to make them feel cared for and important.

As a leader, letting others go first also applies to situations where people are entering and exiting the room, getting seated and lining up for meals. Although people may defer to your title and usher you to the front of the line, letting others go first role shows the respect that you have for your team members.

Letting others go first doesn’t diminish your leadership, it models caring, respect and kindness.

What do you think?

How often do you let others speak first?

What other situations could you let others go first in?

Please share your ideas in the comments!

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This week’s Kind Leader Tip was inspired by IT Leader Craig Delmage.

Here are some other suggestions from Craig for kind ways to meet with team members:

When I have my regular one on one meetings with my team members, I always let them go first – discuss anything that is on their mind or that they want to discuss with me. It can be business or personal. By letting them go first, it sends a signal that what they have to say is important to me. I may prompt them with some initial open-ended questions such as “How are things going for you?” or “How is your new baby?” or “Are you managing work/life balance ok?”

At the end of their items I will check in with them with questions such as “Have I made any decisions lately that you have disagreed with?” to make sure that we are in synch.

If there is time left in our meeting, then I may bring up any items that I wish to cover. Overall, I find that this approach works very well, and I have become closer to my team members – both on a work and personal front – as a result.

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Thanks, Craig, for sending your Kind Leader tip!

And thank you all for reading the Kind Leader Newsletter! Please send me your thoughts and experiences practicing kind leadership so I can use them in The Kind Leader book and pass them on to others in the Newsletter!

The branch manager at one of the first jobs I ever had used to quote the John Maxwell saying “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care” all the time. Seems simple. For me, though, the question is how do people ‘know you care’? If you’re a leader, is just saying “I care about you” really enough for people to know – and believe – that you care? I don’t think so. For people to really ‘know that you care’, you have to ‘show’ them. And, the best way that I know to ‘show’ someone that you care is to spend time with them. Focused time. Time listening to what they have to say (without constantly looking down to check your phone or watch)…time watching how they do the work they are doing and seeing where the work is difficult for them (without constantly pointing out what they are doing wrong or how you would do it instead)…time with them in their space, and not just in your office. Often, in business, we think that monetary rewards or other material incentives ‘show’ people that we care, and overlook the simple, powerful and human message of caring we share when we spend time truly focused on others. In my experience, if we want the people who work for us to truly care about our customers, and our organization, the only way to get them to care, is to spend our time with them to SHOW that we truly care about them. What do you think? How do you ‘show’ people you care?

It’s 2019! As we start the New Year, I have a few questions for you:

• What will YOU create?
• Who will YOU help?
• How will YOU make the world better?

Why am I asking? Because 2019 is the year to turn YOUR ideas into reality. To speak in YOUR voice. To share YOUR ideas with the world. Why? Because YOU, your ideas, your experiences, your skills and your point of view are unique. Often, we get so caught up in taking in what others put out into the world, that we forget that we are just as creative.

So, this year, I’m challenging you to CREATE.

• CREATE a balance of reading what others write and post with sharing your ideas, experience and insights on social media, podcasts, books and
• CREATE a balance between taking courses and certificates and ‘learning-by-doing’ to create solutions that haven’t been thought of yet
• CREATE time to spend on the things that YOU are passionate about. Whether that’s knitting hats for cancer patients, playing piano for your local children’s choir, or creating Kindness Kards with children at your local elementary school.

Because, when you practice your creativity, you find out that you can be more than you ever thought you could be  and do more than you ever thought you could do. At home, at work, in your community, your country and the world. There are seven billion people in this world, a host of problems, and we – and our creativity – are the only ones here to solve them.

So…I’m going to ask you again…

• What will YOU create?
• Who will YOU help?
• How will YOU make the world better?

I can’t wait to read your posts and books, see your drawings and hear about the creative solutions you come up with! Happy New Year…and keep me posted!

Day 4 of the KRC Random Acts of Kindness Challenge

Today’s Reflection – and Challenge – is about asking TO help!

How often do you think about asking TO help someone? Not asking for help you need, but proactively asking someone else what help they need?

In our twenty-four-seven-three-hundred-sixty-five-days-a-year-non-stop-world it’s easy to get focused on ourselves and our needs…and forget to look outwards and see that other people are just as busy and overwhelmed as we are. And that they need our help just as much as we need theirs.

So, today, for the KRC Random Acts of Kindness Challenge…

Ask someone how you can help them! And then give them the help they need! Helping others is a great way to practice kindness, and, you’ll feel great too!

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Did you know that February 11 – 17^th is Random Acts of Kindness Week? To celebrate, and to help people improve the world, I’ve decided to create a Random Acts of Kindness Challenge. Just like the KRC Creativity Challenge, I’ll be uploading a post a day challenging you to participate by doing your own acts of kindness. The Challenge prizes?…Well, that’s easy: happiness for others, good feelings for you, and a better world…one random act of kindness at a time!

So, here goes…Day 1 of the KRC Random Acts of Kindness Challenge:

How We Get There is as Important as Where we are Going! Last week, I was reminded of the importance of treating people who are learning new behaviors and ways of thinking, kindly. A number of the people I was coaching were frustrated and disappointed that they didn’t hit the targets they had set for themselves. Although they made good progress, they didn’t quite reach the goal. “That’s okay,” I said. “A target is simply that. A target. Sometimes we hit it and sometimes we don’t. When we don’t, we reflect on the gap and ask ourselves ‘why’? Then we take what we’ve learned and continue working. And besides, you’ve made great progress! Think about all the practice you’ve had and the experience you’ve gained! You should feel good about your efforts this week, not bad!” As coaches and leaders, it’s important to treat people kindly, and help them see the value of their efforts. if we’re focused only on ‘hitting the target’ as the measure of success, we might forget that the way we reach those targets, is just as important.

Here’s today’s Random Acts of Kindness Challenge:

Find a way to help someone who struggling to reach a target or goal feel good about the effort they’re putting into learning! Whether it’s lending an ear to listen, or a reminder of how much they’ve progressed, your random act of kindness will help them think more kindly of themselves as well!

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